Parenting Tips From Alana

Allow me to introduce you to Alana.

Alana is the heroine of my favorite comic book series, “Saga,” by Brian Vaughan and Fiona Staples. She has a baby, Hazel, with her husband, Marko.

Let’s look at some of the tasks Alana accomplishes while carrying a baby. All of these make concerns like D.C.-area daycare costing $400-plus a week seem pretty trivial.

i'mfuckingkillingyou

Alana keeps her shit relatively together after this bounty hunter, The Stalk, injures Marko with her barbed tongue. Alana’s weak little gun, called a Heartbreaker, briefly incapacitates victims with painful memories. The Stalk is not impressed.

damnbitch

The Stalk wants to take Hazel alive. Alana bluffs hardcore (or does she?), because a Heartbreaker can kill an infant.

carryingmarko

Alana carries both her wounded husband AND Hazel on a long journey through some caverns.

Remember, Alana gave birth less than a week ago at this point.

nopromises

Alana and Marko go into battle against some baddies, armed with nothing but Marko’s sword and Alana’s ineffective gun. But as a trained combatant, Alana doesn’t need the Heartbreaker to rain wrath upon her enemies.

dearthat'senough

Alana keeps hold of Hazel after being wounded in the firefight. Marko, who went all beserker, needs to chill the heck out, says Alana.

yougotthisboss

Much later in the series, Alana shows some reanimated skeletons who’s boss. ALANA IS BOSS.

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