News Round-Up III

1. The Northwest Cryobank baby has gone AWOL. Now I see mostly Uniqlo ads where the baby once mocked me with its stubborn indifference. The last time I saw the little dickens was on a discussion board about early miscarriage, which I did not think appropriate to commemorate with a screenshot.

2. I am proving as inept at scheduling dewar deliveries as I was at catching buses. My attempts to time my commute to minimize waiting resulted in many sojourns at the Pentagon, wondering what my fellow commuters would taste like if I were forced to kill and eat them to survive.

My attempts to time the arrival of dewars — which are only good for a week, so I can’t order them too early — have been equally pathetic. These avenues of failure differ in two primary ways: Missing a bus doesn’t cost $160, and I’ve yet to contemplate eating any part of the dewar or its contents.

3. This blog comes up first in Google search results for “fairfax cryobank ‘death star'”!

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