As a reward for giving Northwest Cryobank $900, this baby started following me around the Internet.

The Northwest Cryobank baby does not show any enthusiasm for my hobbies.

 

The Northwest Cryobank baby remained unmoved by this corn maze depicting New Jersey’s gubernatorial candidates.

 

Jaded sports reporters gave Mike Tyson a standing ovation when he confessed that he’d been lying about his sobriety for years. Nothing, Northwest Cryobank baby?

 

On Radar, I only ever see the “Nine months to ten tiny fingers” banner. The Northwest Cryobank baby doesn’t slum it.

Note the Modcloth ad. Modcloth gets even more of my money than Northwest Cryobank does.

Very occasionally, I glimpse the unicorn of Northwest Cryobank ads: the judge-y open-eyed baby who gives the stink-eye to whatever online filth I’m wallowing in. For the record, judge-y open-eyed baby, I was looking up the rules of text roulette FOR WORK.